Drawing to a close
Updated: May 26, 2019
If you are just tuning in, you’re going to want to go back to the beginning and start there. I have been writing back through my life starting at college and working through present day. We are nearing the end of my first marriage...convenient timing for an integral part of the story to find me on Instagram this week, and thus find this blog. I blocked said person. But it’s safe to say they are now following this story. It almost deterred me from finishing...I didn’t start this for drama. But I also promised myself when I started that I’d always tell the truth. I’ll just tell y’all the events, and you draw your own conclusions, ok? Be sure you leave your thoughts in the comments.
It was nearing the end of my pregnancy, and I was truly miserable. Anthony had started a night job to help with the bills. On more than one occasion, I had to have him rush home from work to take me to the hospital because my contractions had gotten so strong. Fortunately, we never had any major concerns, and our son was born that year healthy and strong at 39 weeks. (I’ll tell the birth story later.)
I settled into being a new mom fairly quickly. Kids had always been a love of mine, and knew I wanted my own. The time spent caring for him took my mind off any underlying issues with my marriage, at least for the moment. But something about having kids brings problems to the surface, whether you want it to or not.
Around the time our son turned 3 months, Anthony started staying out after work with some of the employees at his night job and going to get drinks. At first it was occasional, and it was only a few people there. But I began to get suspicious when I would get up in the morning to take care of Kane, and his phone would be dinging nonstop. When I finally got the nerve to look one day, what I saw was repeated messages from a girl named Jennie talking about the night before.
We had never had a relationship that banned friendships with the opposite sex. However, something about staying out to hang out with another woman when his wife and newborn were home rubbed me the wrong way. When I brought it up, his defense of the situation made me even more suspicious. Arguments ensued, and went on for a while.
A couple weeks passed, and Anthony started increasing his time out with Jennie, even going to a strip club with her “just to talk.” He would turn to her to discuss problems with our marriage instead of talking to me. She would fill his head with nonsense advice, and he would come home drawn further emotionally from me. Every time he would come home, we would fight more. The conversations hinged on his current happiness, and thinking that he needed to always be happy for us to be successful. He swore there was nothing going on with Jennie, but I never believed him. It probably bordered on pathetic how much I begged him to work through things, but I had promised my life to him, and my pride refused to let me believe I had made a mistake or could fail.
“With many tears and a heavy heart, I packed up mine and Kane‘s things.”
A few days before Kane turned 4 months, Anthony asked me to move back home to be with my parents while he thought things through. I had given him an ultimatum, and he refused to let her go. With many tears and heavy heart, I packed up mine and Kanes things, and left for my parents.
The day of Kane’s 4 month appointment, I had to come through town near mine and Anthony’s house. Since I was running early, I decided to drive by our house, still not believing that nothing was going on. As I turned the corner to our street, I saw the green car with Michigan plates that I had come to know as Jennie’s in our driveway. It was 8am, and he had worked until 2am the night before.
Shakily, I pulled into our driveway. I left the car running, not wanting Kane to be privvy to what I suspected was about to happen. Walking to the door, I heard the dogs start barking. My anger was raging so much that I could barely get the key in the door. After what felt like 20 minutes, I finally got into the house and began the walk down the long hallway to our bedroom. As I reached the door, Anthony opened it, put his hand on my stomach and pushed me back out of the room. He was in his underwear, and she pulled the sheet up as I looked over his shoulder. We had a few words and I left in a fit of rage.
The events of Kane’s doctor appointment were a blur that morning. A text war ensued between the two of us, me insulting her for being what he chose over me, and him insisting that I had seen wrong. His claims were that she was fully clothed, and he had just gotten hot and asked her if it was okay for him to take off his shorts. They were apparently, according to him, in the bedroom because they were tired after a long night of work.
There was no calming me down at that point. Furious and filled with rage, I took Kane back to my parents and tried to gather my thoughts. At this point, I was confident we would be divorced in no time.